FC Partizani set their first footprints in the sand beaches of the 2010/2011 Season.  This was their first official unofficial game of the season and their opponents were the Polish giants of NY Eagles.   This reporter has to keep the jokes to a minimum due to the simple fact that he shares a gym with most of the NY Eagles’ players.  The Venue for this great spectacle was San Siro Exit 43 or as it is affectionately known to the fans as the “Stadium of Cars”.  HBO labeled the event  Construction vs Plumbing but the idea fell through after Pirrosi showed his diploma.  Both teams arrived on time and were awarded with cigarette breaks by the respective coaches.  FC Partizani welcomed E. Janku,  E.Kodra and E. Canaj to the lineup.  These three would lead the attack supported by E. Mata, E. Lalaj and E.Rro.  Immediately the attacking force was labeled the sixE guys.  NY Eagles left the keys of the attack to tough guy number one and tough guy number two with strong guy number 3 in direct support.  It is noteworthy that not one of the NY Eagles peed in a cup to be tested.  There was a notable absence in the FCP line-up as Szymon could not make the game due to his cousin’s wife’s brother in law’s daughter’s babysitter’s birthday.  Henry “Pocket Rocket” Myftiu played right back as a result.  NY Eagles were also missing Bicep Billo who was replaced by Push-Up Puskas (I know he comes from Hungary).  The match commenced at 2:23 on the dot.

The first minutes were dominated by the Albanians as they were pushing forward and making inward runs.  E.Ros and E. Janku sent warning shots toward the Polish goal but to no avail.  The breakthrough would come later on as E.Janku anticipated the keeper and headed the ball home.  NY Eagles started counterattacking and did a few sit-ups.  Chris Cloud was unsurpassed in the FCP goal but some of the credit goes to the agile defending of nimble Zejnati who was having a good game in the back.  Jorgo, Henry and Alban played their part as the score remained 1-0 for the Albanians.   During this period an unprecedented amount of rain began to fall and the Albanian players could not duck for cover.  The Polish players had more luck as their biceps doubled as umbrellas.  During the remainder of the game, the rain stopped, buckets full, stopped and then more buckets full.  Last time we saw such inconsistency we were looking at Pirrosi’s soccer career (comedic drums).   The second half began and E.Kodra quickly doubled Partizani’s lead.  After some good work between the three attackers, the third goal followed; courtesy of E.Rosi.     There would be some valuable minutes for Amir as well as he replaced a fine E.Janku.  The cherry on the byrek cake came as a solo effort by Kodra.  After receving the ball, Kodra dribbled past 5 polish players as they were doing push-ups to get the ball away.  After dribbling the same people for a second round, the Alba-Turk slotted the ball past the opposing keeper.  The ball would have stopped at the net but since we didn’t have nets it kept going. Thank you Mr. Professional President.  Vili (who was given the whistle) ended the game at the moment and Partizani won the game 4-0.  NY Eagles played well but need to work on their attacking a little more (this phrase was introduced to be polite).  The season opener is three weeks away and both teams seem ready for what is ahead.  Niko Galafinakis had this to say after the match, “Kalaise, kalla kalla”.  

The thunderstorm couldn't halt Partizani's game as they got themselves another exhibition win. The "red roaches" cruised to a 4-0 victory against NY Eagles, repeating the scoreline between the two teams in their last league match.

Marshallah Elsen returned to the team and scored two goals. One was easy, the other a miracle. What was even more important was the fact that he was perfectly tanned. Janku was also on target as well as Erosi, both players also making their 2010/11 debut.

Chris also made his first appearance of the season after disappearing for a long period of time and he seemed to have gotten even taller. He was awarded with a gyro after the match for his heroics, even though he refused to share his banana with the president at halftime.

Areid couldn't manage to get on the score sheet for the first time in his FC Partizani career. The fancy new cleats apparently didn't help the youngster, probably because they were knock off, since they were a present from his uncle.

For the first time in FC Partizani's 6 year history there was no confrontation between Jorgo and Edlo. Apparently the defender doesn't feel threatened anymore by Edlo's skills, after he's put on about 20 lbs. Eldo might retire soon though as coash Arapi has offered him an assistant coach position, if he caresses his hair during the match. The coach believes that his hair regrowth is the missing component in Partizani's success.

Pirrosi came to the game full of confidence after dominating several pick up games at the park during the week. He easily dominated some mentally challenged kids at the local park, but as always didn't do much in real games. He blamed the steak he ate the previous day, saying Azgan Malok poisined his food with an unknown substance, which affected his concentration in the field.

But Malok claimed his was innocent and showed a "People" magazine photo in which he was partying Kim Kardashian as proof. The dispute is still going on. The coach tried to put an end to the controversy by saying "i think there was no poisoning, that was pure Pirrosi and his sucky self".

FC Partizani faced Sporting Astoria yet again, but this time was a brand new opponent with unfamiliar faces and the "Red Rabbits" got an unprecedented 8-1 win. Probably the coach showing up late, was the motivation for this triumph.

Partizani had a few fresh faces of their own. Niku started in attack alongside Bayram (no not Elsen, another Turkish guy) and behind them Almir and Canadian winger Areid lit up the midfield.

The new players were successful, scoring most of the 8 goals. Bayram and Niku scored two each, while Areid scored another, his second goal in as many games for Partizani. Areid wasn't at his best, because he had to endure a long bus trip from Toronto (FC Partizani couldn't afford a plane ticket) and he had to sleep on the floor the night before the match.

But the returning players got on the scoreboard as well. Pirrosi, who's always on target when it doesn't matter,  scored twice, while Kaci scored a magnificent goal after a long run on the left wing. Afterwards he put his index finger over his mouth, looked at Edlo and said "Ssssshhh".