Welcome to part II of “Final Thoughts of a Handsome Season”: Ciao bello.Before I analyze other players, Lalaj has fallen on the floor laughing…he claims a foul was committed.
An often unsung hero of Partizani is Eldo “Francesco” Mata.Buried deeply under his Lady Ga Ga touches on the ball and less-than-Schwarzenegger challenges lies a great passer.He has shown time and time again that he can deliver that killer pass or update that killer website.To you I say, hallall.
Another wenkster that gave a positive contribution to the team is Xhulian “the Jewel” Rrahmani.Although often dribbling slightly more than necessary and often leaving his position, this promising player did keep the left side of defense from being raided by enemy attacks.He put his torso in front of a cannon to keep the castle from falling.He also proved that he can be utilized as a make-shift forward as he has a potent shot, which helped him find the net in several occasions this season.
The phrase “ela re, ti kanis..kalla o malaga kalla” is often heard when Niko Xhaxho greets fellow cool cat Kaci.Both players showed their worth this season in different ways. Niko proved to be a catalyst in midfield providing the strikers with excellent balls and great passing (wink wink).Many dangerous occasions were started by his feet.If he can gain fitness and play for 90 minutes, he will be a constant threat.
Kaci too proved very efficient on the right.He put his head down and started swimming on the right side of the pool and did not lift his head up.This has nothing to do with soccer.Kaci provided some much needed support from the right providing dangerous crosses to create chances for the forwards.He also defended well and kept opponent at bay.Ef caristo re Jorgo.
Lushnja has a reach tradition of soccer and Klajdi Shabani furthers this tradition at Partizani.His experience and technical abilities proved detrimental to the opposition on many occasions.His highlight of the season was virtuoso goal he scored against Sporting Astoria [although shadowed by Cece's three].
Simon Sondej was a sign of relief in Partizani’s defense. He provided security in the defense and helped Partizani solidify their backline. Kurva mac son.
And who can forget the many flashes of genius that Arapi major has created.There was this one time, no wait there was …ok well he has been a constant mentor to the younger players and often has improved their game in many aspects.Although he doesn’t get too many minutes on the pitch, his influence is evident and his guidance appreciated.Grazie Baggio.
Another major character this season has been Goalkeeper Skenderi.His efforts have kept the goals against statistic at the lowest levels since Partizani joined CSL.
Did we forget someone…no.Oh yea that em, big guy, morbidly fat lil angel, what’s his face?Eni “Animal” Zejnati.What a player... not with the ladies.Very rarely beaten in one on one situations, his central defending proved pivotal to the team as he kept the back door shut, front door not so much.It often goes unnoticed that he is both a player and president, and his generosity in defense is only over shadowed by his generosity in financial matters (he records how much people owe him on his cell phone).
He is handsome.No team could be complete without a coach, that is why Partizani is incomplete.That’s a joke of course as Arapi’s imagination and hard headedness were major reasons for Partizani’s success.He has correctly assigned positions to the team and now Partizani has a base (on sand) in which to start building on.His criticism although harsh is often accepted by players, and thus improvement can be achieved.Thanks you jerk.
We would like to take this opportunity to thank the players who may not return to Partizani. Elsen Kodra has been one the best player to have ever worn the red or white or yellow jersey of Partizani.He remains one of the most complete players and managed to score the most goals in the regular season while missing many of the games.
Arlind Telegrafi is another player who has given a lot to Partizani.He found the net many times and has shown commitment to the team in many occasions (except when he went fishing ).Niku and Visi also need to be thanked for their effort on and off the pitch, as well asDizdari, Jauri, Gjika, Ze Gaucho, Ambrosini. Thank you all for a great season...............
Last Updated ( Monday, 29 June 2009 10:55 )
“Final Thoughts on an Inspiring Season” (Part I)
Written by 13
on
Thursday, 25 June 2009 15:10
Boom boom bolo bolo, boom boom baka waka.No doubt a great song,which can be applied to the most recentPartizani season.The new campaign started with a boom boom as hordes of players flocked to meet the challenge and be part of a great project.There were over twenty players on the roster, one more handsome than the next (except Mata, he is just purty).However, due to constant rotation and general lack of skill, Partizani suffered some setbacks or bolo bolos early on.The red angels of beauty lost altitude during early encounters with Atlas Lions and Barnsworth Rovers.However, these loses were offset by convincing victories against Eintracht, Gotham Argo and Liverpool.After the dust had settled and the mass exodus of players had taken place (Literary Note: exodus is when a large number of people leave an institution, Cool Note: exodus is when we be out cuz people be trippin’), Partizani found its rhythm and started putting together a string of positive results, most notable the Missile back-to-back victories.However, the enthusiasm was short lived as the red devils wear prada won only one game in the second part of the season.This was the baka waka period.
Partizani managed to collect a club record number of points (21) and improved in all statistical aspects.This season the red sweetie pies took in the fewest goals while scoring the most of any prior season.Noteworthy, if you rearrange the word prior you get the name of a superstar, you’re welcome.All in all, it was a step in the right direction, if you are heading for mediocrity.O snap, no one saw that diss coming.Take that satirical writers of SNL.It is true, fifth place is not anything to fart loudly about but this season did show major improvement in many players.
First and foremost, Pirrosi “Vegas” Cece (when he has the ball the odds are 1 in 30) found the net in 22 occasions.A very prolific season for a man who is such a bad finisher that he rarely reaches orgasm.However, he has a lot of work to do and let’s not forget, 15 of those goals came from friendly matches.However, he did score some important goals in Cup and regular Season and he still has boyish good looks.
Secondly, Donald “the Duck” Pepa shattered common misconceptions about pre-teens.He only played as a striker in a few occasions but scored in every one of those matches.He still needs to improve his striker instincts and occasionally not curse refs like there is no tomorrow (ok fine, it was a hand ball, move on).Partizani expects great things from the youngster, but first they must extend his contract at the club.
A player who joined late in the season but gave a solid contribution to the team was Hussein.Raised in youth systems of Egypt, he rose to assistant-torch bearer to the Pharaoh in 2002.His vision, calm and great passing will be a great asset to Partizani as they will square off against tough opposition like Baby Cakes FC, Eintracht, NY Finest and Oshtrian ShuperCuteArshes (managed by Bruno).
Lalaj, who rarely receives praise do to the fact that he yells for no reason, had a surprisingly clean season as far as fouls, fights, curses, yellow cards are concerned.This did not mean his tackles were any less brutal, but now he says “sorry” a lot and occasionally treats Jani Fairwhistle to coffee.Ballaku was decisive in many occasions with his interventions and proved to be a very smooth link between defense and midfield.If he can continue down this path, he can teach Lala a thing or two (not Altin Lala but tele-tubbies Lala).
Stay Tuned for Part II.
Last Updated ( Monday, 29 June 2009 10:55 )
Arome Fshati: Partizani downed by penalty shoot-out
Written by Pirrosi
on
Monday, 08 June 2009 11:42
Partizani sent a selection of angels to compete in the annual Albanian Heritage Day Tournament. They managed to get past the first round but were eliminated on penalty kicks in the quarter finals. Say what. Kenisco Dam Park was chosen as the venue where the 18-team Tournament would be taking place. And only a dam could have stopped Partizani's flood of attacking football in the first match. It was like a sagitarious dating a leo, you know there is gonna be trouble. After a Champions League style drawing (where names of teams were put in a hat),Partizani was paired against Tuzi FC, a team that excelled in the art of long hair and red-card-worthy-tackles. In true Albanian fashion, only 4 teams out of the original 16 teams were ready to play. Nice job Ana Malit. Quickly the match was underway. Partizani played with a 3-2-1 formation where Genc Lalaj was between the posts, Elton Lalaj, Zejnati and Kaci were defending. Hussein and Mata were writing fanatsy tales in midfield and Cece was just told, "know what i mean cuz, you gotta score some cuz, its like bam bam put it away bro". Thank you Xhulian. The match was underway just like Xhulian had instructed Cece, bam bam he put it away bro in the 5th minute. Mata put the pen down for a second and gave a clinical throughball to claim the assist. Before the break, Tuzi went level courtesy of the long hair/bad teeth man. Partizani was torn apart by the goal. Players were grabbing their hair and yelling. Lalaj, which doesn't have too much hair to grab was just yelling. The second half was underway, and bam bam Cece was on target right away. Partizani took the lead and never looked like they were going to give it up, like an Albanian virgin. The score remained unchanged and Partizani moved to the quarter-finals. Two addittional teams showed up late and surprisingly were included in the tournament anyway. The organizers could not say no to $250 and welcomed the challange of figuring out how to fit 9 teams in 8 quarter-final spots. In the three hour interval between Partizani's matches, it became difficult dealing with the heat and excessive village aroma comming from the other teams. We got hot dogs during the interval. The quarter final match was about to start. The draw had placed Partizani and Shkodra FC (which entered the tournament late and were not supposed to be playing) against each other. It proved to be a very cagy endevour for both teams as neither found the net in the 30 minutes of regular play. Penalties would decide the outcome of this match. In the skirmish, Hussein and Zejnati were injured which ment that they would not be able kick penalties. Arapi decided that Lalaj (not Genci), Kaci and Cece would shoot from the spot. Shkodra FC was up first and scored. A powerfull shot by Lalaj kept the score tied. Shkodra's second goal was canceled by Kaci's penalty who earlier in the game had seen his shot from 10 yards (which is like 30 in the big field) mircaulosly punched away by the goalie. Shkodra put away their final penalty. Cece steps up, well placed low drive and its 3-3 from the spot. Now sudden death. Shkodra once again puts the ball away and its 4-3. Lalaj (not Elton) steps up but hits the post and ball goes out. Shkodra advance to the semis. On the way back Partizani was playing the game, "Guess an animal with the letter...". Mata guessed bull-frog when the letter B was chosen.
And now some comments from Çeçe that only 10 people in the U.S. can understand:
Nella fine, un rizultato che accontenta sia gli vincitori di questa partita, sia gli farmaceutici che danno gli sterioids a questi cavalli. Una partita un po amara per il Partizani, che ha sofrito la mancanza di Sean Toomy, convocato nella nazionale degli ragazzini con problemi mentali non-riparabili. Un fine staggione che lascia molto da desiderare. Ma, anche senza Sean, il Partizani funziona. Thank you Ugo for the illustrious introduction. You are a real futbolista as they say in Palermo. What a game, sleek passing, fantastic understanding between the players, endless lungs and piercing eyes full of vision made sure the game would moved at pinball-machine speeds. Never has a team been blessed by so much talent that they can sell it for twenty bucks a bag. Indeed, Atlas lions are such a team and they did to Eintrach what OJ did to his wife and boyfriend. However, this reporter had to occasionally throw a stare at the match in front of him between Partizani and Vroom Vroom Nieuw Amsterdam. The well oiled dutch machines came out of the factory firing on all cilinders as they quickly took the lead in the 2nd minute. Their engine stalled a bit as Cece's effort was saved by the keeper only to fall sweetly in Hussein's (no relation to men of power) path of destruction and into the net. No weapons of mass destruction were found. For more mediocre jokes you may visit plaku.com or follow the link on this page. With the match back in equilibrium, the tactical choices of both coaches became evident. Partizani went with a more conservative 4-5-1 while Amsterdam went with a 10-10-10 since machines can do that. Thanks a lot Obama for bailing out the auto industry. Once again plaku.com for mediocre jokes. As gas prices remained low, Amsterdam went on the score sheet two more times and then filed for bankruptcy. First half ended with Amsterdam leading 3 to 1. One of the dutch cats had to go to a taping of Transformers 3: From Cars to Kars. At the Partizani camp meanwhile, someone was cooking a stew with pickles, onions, hate and anger. Lalaj was there to quickly spill the stew on the floor so no two players could eat it. He is on a low-carb/high-team unity diet. (seriously plaku.com for mediocre jokes). The second half started quite well for Partizani, as some great combos between Cece and Pepa did not yield the necessary ingredients to make a goal-soup. However the goal would come in the twenty second minute and half when Cece, who disobeyed his momma amd played with high-fever (over 2000 degrees Kelvin), threaded a golden assist to thirteen-year old Pepa who converted the second Partizani goal. Pepa looks like Orlando Bloom's little brother, Tampa Bloom and an avid listener of polka music. Ancelloti once said about him, "His combination of talent and youth is like a farmer who teaches bio-physics, non e possibille". He didn't speak perfect english back then. After this goal Amsterdam's cifteli wires broke and no more honey melody could ever grace thy earth . Suck on it 1800's romantic novelists who new what a ciftely was. The game did end but not without one last spark. The often soft spoken, angelic patience Lalaj punched a Monday (nobody likes mondays) in the chest. Later the Monday appologized and offered some neosporin for Lalaj's fist. In a similar incident, the old fart that Chaney shot in the face also apologized to Chaney's family for what they had to go through (im lying im dying). Coach Arapi had this to say at the end of the match, "fuck carrots".
Last Updated ( Thursday, 04 June 2009 16:23 )
Friendly: Sporting Astoria vs FC Partizani
Written by 13
on
Thursday, 21 May 2009 11:10
5-5
"Weather Update: Its raining goals in Randall's 73"
It's raining goals, alleluia its raining goals, great defense (lyrics taken from 1980 mega hit song). They dont make songs like this anymore folks. Partizani hosted Sporting Astoria for the 502nd friendly this season. We have won the title friendliest team in CSL by default. The venue was Randall's island. Although the sun declared war on both teams, a shade of goals kept the heat at bay. (take that 18th century novel writers). Astoria's 6-1 marginal victory over Partizani was canceled out by the impressive 2-1 Partizani response. The next match would have to be decisive, and decicive it was...it ended in a tie.
Sporting showed up with a depleted team. At first, only 10 players showed up, the rest was called up for international duty. Lucky for them, their goal keeper would come to save the game with his impressive form. But lets not get ahead of ourselves. Partizani fielded a strong, offensive minded team with Cece and Sammy supporting lone striker Gjika. To further strengthen the squad, Coach "Open-minded" Arapi placed Animal Zejnati between the shtylla. He guarded the goal like New Jersey guards pollution. Lalaj and Shabani took center defense while Kacaj and Rrahmani took the wings. The midfield tri-dent was formed by Mata, Xhaxho and Erjon Baxhio (media calls it ta-xho-xho). Sporting used a similar lay-out. Number one and two were defending, while number three and four were wingers. Five, six and seven were taking care of midfield while eight nine and ten were attackers. After the calciopoly trial, Fairwhistle was given the honor of refeering this highly acclaimed match.
Gjika saw some of his ealry chances go wide. Later he saw some more go wide. Finally, he learned from his mistakes and missed a few more. It seemed like the goal was never going to come but after a lightning quick counter attack, Xhaxho played Baxhio in the middle with the later returning the favor with a no look through ball back to Xhaxho. The greek international cooly finished and beat the in-from Sporting goalie. That was it for the first half. Al Roker predicted sunshine but it began to pour goals. Cece opened the second half scoring with a clean finish after good work from Shabani. Sporting put their mark on the game minutes after with a fenomenal finish from 2 yards after Partizani failed to clear the corner. The equalizer came soon after courtesy of Sporting's fair play. Partizani thought the free kick would be repeated and were waiting for the ball when a quick thinking Sporting player scored. After the game he rushed home to host a tea party with Osama. However, Partizani's prayers for another goal were answered by a typical Cece goal. After a great first touch with the outside of the foot, he lobbed the ball over the in-from Sporting keeper to restore the lead. Kaci gave the assist. After the game, Cece said that he pressed the R1 and square buttons. The lead was not to last as Sporting went 5-3 in a matter of minutes. Cec, having recently came off a goal diet, endulged in yet another goal assisted by Niko. Shabani put the icing on the cake with a fantastic solo effort dribbling past 5 Sporting players and beating the keeper, hwo up the that moment was gaving a great game. There was time for some last minute drama as Sammy tried to go over a Sporting player but the latter stopped the ball with his hand. Fair whistle gave the penalty but after Sporting threats such as, "That was not a hand ball", Fairwhistle decided to end the game without the penalty. All in all Partizani showed their firepower up front while also being charitable at the back. Coach Arapi had a message for other teams, "Bring an Umbrella".
