FC Partizani will launch an Over-30 team in the 2010-2011 season which starts in September. The Over-30 team will compete in Cosmopolitan Soccer League and will be an addition to the existing team which competes in Metro Division I. 

All players interested in joining the new team should contact us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

1-1

Partizani hosted Long Island United on Sunday on what proved to be a very racially charged encounter. Racial slurs flowed freely while the goals were much scarcer.  This was also a farewell game for one of Partizani’s most fragile players, Sammy Hussein, who is moving back to his native Egypt to do, who knows what.

Partizani had many absences.  Canaj was again missing due to an alcohol related injury. Lelaj was absent, and his #7 shirt was missing as well. The Agolli brothers were attending a family reunion, so all three of them were out. Sammy’s friends didn’t show up either as they didn’t agree to share the travel expenses for the 6 hour trip. Szymon didn't show up because he was celebrating the Polish Independence Day and Kevon went to a picnic.

So coach Arapi didn’t have many choices as only 12 players suited up. He surprised everyone though when he played Mata on Pirrosi’s position on left bench. Mata threatened to leave but since he didn't have a ride he decided to keep the coach company on the bench. He's funny so I'm sure the coach was pleased.

The president also got the nod to start in central defense, even though he just came back from a long battle with swine flu. He was partnered by Ballack, who had high hopes of debuting as an attacking midfielder, but he was downgraded to a central defender after Pirrosi begged for another chance to impress.

On the other hand Long Island United had a full squad. Even the 7 foot monster that was banned for 6 games was available, and he was allowed to play by the ref even though his fake ID said height – 5’1”.

Anyway the game was underway. The new batch of steroids was doing miracles for LI United as they charged forward furiously. The mellow Partizani team was content to sit back in the opening minutes and shut down every attempt by the “druggies”. Partizani had the best chances of the half, but they couldn’t manage to put the ball in. Partizani also defended well with Kaci and Alban on the wings and Ballack and the President in the center who by the way shared a Sneakers candy bar before the match.

The halftime talk was useless as always and it only lasted 47 seconds since the ref was in a hurry. It was enough for LI United to plug in the robots and recharge them.

So it started again. LI United enjoyed again more possession, but Partizani was the one creating chances. Telegrafi and Sammy had opportunities but couldn’t capitalize, while Pirrosi was more invisible then a bed bug in a foggy day. Even the little skill that he has left, he had forgotten it home on Sunday.

United had some chances of their own but Chris was at his best since he ate a banana before the match. The 64’ minute was a lucky one for LI United. The 7 foot monster starts galloping down the field. He knocked down the Partizani players like bowling pins and then released a rocket that ended up on goal. 1-0.

Partizani reacted immediately as they threw numbers forward. After a few created chances they were rewarded a penalty for a handball in the area. Pepa is punished to take it, but luckily he scores it. 1-1.

After the goal the racial slur starts. It was a two way street, as very few nationalities were spared. Needless to say there weren’t a lot of scoring chances after that. So the game ended 1-1 and each team received a useless point.

After the game coach Arapi praised his team. “We played a great game, we were just unlucky. I expected a lot more from a certain player but he let me down as always. Anyway the rest of the players were perfect, even the Greek. The president was excellent considering his age, weight, lack of exercise and his illness. My brother was MVP.”

2 - 1

A sunny afternoon at Randall’s #71 was the setting for Partizani’s encounter with NYPD FC. The event was dubbed as cops versus robbers and it was only fitting that Erosi and Lalaj were the stars of this match. Partizani was looking for payback (lost last season) while NYPD was looking for Lalaj (lost his passport). Both teams were equally matched and it promised to be a good game. However, Partizani was struck with grief. Their beloved gay president, Enimal Zejnati was in the emergency room after contracting the swine flu (or pig flute as Lalaj calls it, he also calls a bandana a banana). Doctors attributed the illness to his unshaved beard (something about his beard’s bacteria being reunited with other swine flu bacteria through facebook). In an emotional speech, Coach Arapi roused the troops by telling them to play for the President’s honor. Pirrosi was quick to point out that in case the President doesn’t make it, he calls the Mitsubishi Gallant.

The whistle was entrusted to GianFranciesco Ruotacarri. The stage was set, the game was about to begin. The first minutes of the game were dominated by Partizani, whose players often slipped under the broken radar of the NYPD. Then Ruotocarri pulled a file out of the unnecessary information pile and said, “My la pants are un po falling, pantalloni”. The first wow moment of the game fell to the feet of Pirrosi. After dribbling not two but one police defender, he played the give-and-go with Erosi and whistled a cracking shot from 25 yards. His effort was just inches above the cross bar. Having nothing to say, Lalaj just yelled, “Aaaaaaaa”. The Vlora madman however rediscovered his creative touch by placing a fine assist on Erosi’s size 9 golden feet. Looking for a way to get back at the police, Erosi left the keeper on the ground as he went by him and slotted home his 4th of the season. His probation was extended for another year. A similar situation happened minutes after when Sammy played a through ball to the ever present Eros but the young delinquent did not bring his shades and thus was not cool enough to score between the keeper’s legs. Pirrosi’s chip from 18 yards, although spectacular, was foiled by a returning defender who headed the ball out of the goal line and ended up in the net himself. Sammy was also visibly upset with the missed opportunity as he brought some of his friends to watch the game. Surprisingly, his friends were more interested in the NYPD’s broken radar and were taking vigorous notes on the subject. Who knows why? The first half ended with the police running after the robbers but could not catch them. Lelaj and Telegrafi were introduced in the second half but they did not have the same effect as the previous game when they scored a brace each. NYPD FC picked up the tempo in the second half but with no outcome. In the 53rd minute, something noteworthy happened. After a NYPD player picked up the ball near the kick off spot, Lalaj viciously slid and tackled the young cop from behind. The unnecessary foul earned Lalaj a yellow card and an “ass-hole” comment from the victim. Knowing his charges were dropped, Lalaj said, “It’s ok you can call me an ass-hole”. The Erosi-Madman connection was fruitful once again as Lalaj dispatched a through ball that Erosi was able to slip between the keeper’s legs. He said never had to work this hard to slip his ball between anyone’s legs. Embarrassed, the NYPD keeper turned in his badge and gloves and moved to midfield. The move paid off as NYPD pulled a goal back profiting from a Partizani substitution. Turns out, the game can continue if a substitution is going on. Seeing his comrades in despair, Pirrosi decides to do something about it. IN an unprecedented move, he actually applies pressure to the opposition, wins the ball, goes past the goal keeper and you guessed it, he misses with an empty net. In his defense, he is really bad striker. He has two more testicles than goals this season. That was the last chance and the game ended soon after. Partizani earned a deserved win over NYPD FC and now the reds climb to second place in the ranking. Defeated, NYPD decided to drop their charges on Erosi but were not so lenient with Pirrosi’s library late fees. He should have returned Dr. Seuss’ “Cat in a Hat” two weeks ago. At the end of the game, the whole team called the President to wish him to "get well", while Coach Arapi was advising Pirrosi on how to "get better". Next week Partizani will match their wits against LI United while NYPD will watch reruns of Bad Boys II.

Here are some fantastic offsides